Writer: Paul Bright
Genre: Drama, Romance
Country: USA
Language: English
Year: 2006
Duration: 96 min
Duration: 96 min
Stars: Paul Bright, Tim Jones, Peggy Mae Binn
IMDB:
Good First Draft
3/10
Author: jt-164 from United States
6 February 2007
First
off, it seems that Tim Jones, the executive producer and a actor in
this film, passed away in August of 2006. May he rest in peace, and
thank you for having made the film. Critiques are fine, but I also want
to point out that, regardless of constructive criticism, that these
people made the film at ALL puts them a far sight ahead of most people.
Congrats and cudos to the entire cast & crew!
That said…
This
has some good potentials, but suffered from pace issues in several
places. Pregnant pauses that should have been picked out by a decent
editor made the film drag. The audience would certainly have preferred a
shorter film that moved at more brisk a pace. Some of the dialogue is
trite, some of it awkward, and too often the blocking looks as though it
was made for stage. The best scenes are between the two leads when they
forget to act and just have conversation, while they’re getting to know
each other.
The filmmaker intended to have fun
with it, and it does demonstrate a somewhat surreal whimsical feeling,
but we could have had more constant reminders, whether via some
mechanism, lense coloring, or something to remind us not to expect
reality. Then the departures might not have been so taxing.
Did
I enjoy the DVD? Yes, despite the flaws (and myself) I did. But I
wouldn’t wittingly have parted with $27 for a copy, except to support
the work.
It’s a good first draft. I’d have
re-edited, re-shot some scenes… but that would mean remaking the film
altogether in this case. The expenses were obviously minimal by
Hollywood standards. With some fine-tuning and rewrites, maybe some more
outside help, this could have been a much better movie.
I applaud the effort. It’s good to see gay independent filmmakers not falling back on cheap sex sells. Now to lose the clichés.
To
The Writer/Director: Paul, there ARE some homo men who don’t have gay
mannerisms. They may even be a substantial portion of the population.
They’re just inherently unseen. It might have been nice to show this as
well, and set another example of tolerance in the process, as you did by
this remarkable town you’ve created. Get ahold of me before you start
your next production. I’d be glad to pitch in!
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